My surgery was this morning and boy was it eventful. I should write a biography, it would be very entertaining for sure! There are always complications for me. Small or big, if it happens to me, it does not happen like it does for others.
During my pre-op this morning the nurse started my IV. Well she sure tried to anyways. Bless her little heart, she blew my vein and it hurt like a mofo! She knew she messed up. It was all over her face, and my arm, the bed and the floor, if I’m being honest. She was very professional about it though. Never once did she try to lie about it, hide it, or make excuses. She applied pressure (a whole lot of painful pressure) to get the air bubbles out as to minimize the damage done. When I nervously asked if she was going to try again in the same hand. She replied “Oh sweetie, I’m not going to try again at all. I will go get you another nurse and she will use your other hand. I will tend to this one and observe. I will be right back.”. I was relieved but I felt so bad for her. I asked her to still be my nurse. Did I mention the emergency alarm was going off during this entire process????? Blinking lights, alarm sounding everywhere and an encouraging message echoing from the intercom saying something to the effect of “There is an emergency. Please evacuate immediately.” This did not help my nerves at all, to say the least. I later learned it was a fire alarm. After that incident was all over, one of the nurses that was scheduled to be in my surgery with me wasn’t happy with my answer to his “Are you pregnant or could you be” question. I told him I suffered from IF and that I just had a cycle this past Thursday. But I still have all the necessary parts to create life. So with both arms limited, carrying my IV bag and holding my robe closed in the back, I had to sneak to the restroom to pee in a cup for him to prove I was not pregnant. That’s how the surgery started. Yes, that was just the beginning.
I don’t remember much else about the surgery. I did vomit while coming to but I hear that is pretty normal. I have been resting at home comfortably since being released. I’m in a little pain but not as much as I thought I would be. PC took the whole week off. Originally for vacation so hopefully I feel better soon so we can do something fun before he goes back to work. He has taken such great care of me. Sometimes I fear I don’t deserve such an amazing man.
The part of today that truly helped me was my dad showed up. He took the day off of work and everything. For the past few years I have had this overwhelming feeling that my circle sucks. That the people around me say nice things but when push comes to shove they aren’t really on my side. They don’t mean what they say, aren’t there for me and NEVER stick up for me when I am struggling to stick up for myself. I am used to being kicked while I’m down and unfortunately, the people that have been kicking me for the past few years have been my closest family and friends. And then the man that started the “kicking” in my life when I was a child, takes the day off of work to be there for my first surgery. This man had to limp into the hospital today and shake the doctor’s hand with a splint on his right arm because of the stroke he just suffered from on December 1st of last year. He can’t afford to miss work right now. And he probably couldn’t afford the gas money to drive across town. But he did. And for him this wasn’t my first surgery. He was there when I was 2 months old and required a very weird/uncommon surgery to remove 2 inches of muscle from my neck. He was the one wrapping and re-wrapping the dressings on my infant neck as well as performing the painful neck exercises that were required for my recovery. Having my dad there today reminded me of the good times, his good side. Before my father turned into…uh….a different person. It was so nice to have my daddy back, even just for a couple hours. This is the father neither of my sister’s have ever met because he was different by the time they were born. I have missed him so much. I know he is still in there somewhere. I cherish the moments when I get a reminder like I did today. To my sisters, this is the only father they have ever known. But for me, I lived with a great father, then grieved the loss of that person, and learned to live with the father he became. For that reason, today was heartbreaking, scary, moving, and surprisingly encouraging all at the same time. I have a little of my hope back. I’m not even sure why, but I do.
Who knew gallbladder removal would be so emotional?
Now if I could just get past this insomnia….
Much Love To All!