Gallbladder Update

Well on Monday, the day of surgery, I was a rock star!! Probably thanks to the rock star meds I was still on from the hospital. Tuesday…I was no rock star. Wednesday either. Today I am feeling slightly better and slightly more alert.

Things I can NOT do until I am healed….

  • cough
  • sneeze
  • yawn…yes, you wouldn’t believe how many abdominal muscles you can use when yawning!
  • LAUGH. I am the girl that laughs, or finds humor, at the most inappropriate times! This is an inappropriate time!!!  Something on TV was funny and I giggled. Giggle turned into laughter. And once I started laughing it was close to impossible for me to stop! So I simultaneously laughed, held my tummy, tried to breathe, cried alligator tears and screamed out for PC to “turn it off!!!!” (I didn’t think I had to worry about this because I was watching an old sad episode of Grey’s Anatomy!).  It was hilarious and tragic all at the same time!

I am still waiting to notice the full effects of having this gallbladder removed. So far, I can tell my digestion is different. Although, different is the only adjective I have at this point because I am still on a cautionary diet. I no longer feel pain  in my upper abdomen after eating. I haven’t suffered from acid reflux yet either. Once I begin eating more solid foods again, I am sure I will notice more benefits than I do now.

The one difference I was not expecting…MY SKIN!! Oh heaven’s, my face! It feels amazing! I know this sounds silly to most but the difference in my skin is undeniable! Before surgery I felt like applying lotion after my shower was not an option. My face was so dry, rough, bumpy, red and more. So lotion was my answer. I tried all kinds, no fragrance…etc. However, when I applied lotion to my face, it never soaked into my skin. It think it just sat on top and dried up, only to peel off later. Most of the time it actually burned when I applied the lotion and my face turned more red than it already was! I was considering a trip to my dermatologist soon. You know, after the gallbladder and IF stuff were taken care of. But I haven’t applied lotion to my face once since surgery!!! Not once! I haven’t felt the need. My face is soft, my skin is pink not red, and it doesn’t feel dry at all. Lotion is an option now!!! I will still use it of course, but it feels so good to know it is just an option….

Hopefully I will notice more benefits with time and healing but so far I am pleased.

And although this surgery was scary for me, I still feel like a rock star. I think I have handled it well.

Thank you all for your kind words and support along the way.

Much Love To All!

Is it all related somehow?

As PC and I enter the journey of deciding whether I should have this hysterectomy or not, I am feeling very over whelmed.

At my last appointment my gyn decided to give me 2 new medications that might relieve my symptoms some until we make our decision about the surgery. She gave me wellbutrin and a different bc pill, similar to the first one I took. I decided to only start one med at a time based on the events following the last time she started me on 2 new meds. I wanted to be 100% sure which one caused problems, just in case.

So I took my first Wellbutrin yesterday, late morning. Several hours later I was sick!  Horrible tummy issues, diarrhea, vomiting, anxiety, then my unwelcome friend visited me -nope not Aunt Flo- I refer to her as an Fing panic attack. I calmed down enough to fall asleep last night and first thing this morning I started my investigation with none other than Dr. Google. I am in no way a medical professional and am also in no way giving any medical advise. Here is what I “learned”:

  • It is possible that I have IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). I said possible, guys, I am not diagnosing myself. If that is the case, however, I may not be having a reaction to the chemicals in the meds, but they might be irritating my IBS or whatever GI issue I am really having. What I know for sure is that my tummy has always been sensitive (getting worse these days) even when I am not on any medication at all. I’m kind of hoping if I do have an issue in that are that it is IBS. It seems to be the least severe option and is pretty manageable.
  • IBS, Panic, and Endometriosis are all linked!
  • IBS is similar to PCOS in that it is a collection of symptoms, is usually diagnosed by the exclusion of other causes, has no known cause and no known cure.
  • The “lesions” from Endometriosis can travel and attach to parts of your bowel (among other organs) and possibly be the cause for your IBS symptoms.
  • IBS can make it difficult to find a medication that doesn’t upset your tummy. Yippy!
  • Some websites claim an upset tummy (specifically diarrhea) during your menstrual cycle is normal while other sites claim the opposite. I have that problem every single time.
  • I am no longer going to google info about a hysterectomy. The amount of conflicting thus confusing information is torturous and my HSP can not tolerate it.
  • I am very weird and complicated and should probably offer myself to science or I will never truly figure out what is going on inside me, I do not wish to continue only treating the most severe symptoms. This band-aid method isn’t working well anymore.
  • Since the last one is probably not an option for me (if I knew how I seriously would do it) I am going to have to suck it up and continue trying these different “treatment methods” (in non-doctor terms that means prescription drugs) until I find one that doesn’t try to kill me.
  • Wellbutrin Extended realease is coated and due to the small amount of medication released at a time might be a better fit for my sensitive tummy. That one I got from calling the pharmacist this morning.
  • I may also have to suck it up and have that colonoscopy that 2 different doctors have suggested I have. I am not just terrified of the hysterectomy. I am actually terrified of doctors, procedures, surgeries, and needles (well not so much needles anymore thanks to IF). My body reacts poorly to medications, can you imagine me having any kind of procedure? I would be that .1% of people who look like they are out but can still feel everything! That’s what happened to my mother during hers. (We are a LOT alike) She says she felt like she was awake but the doc says she wasn’t. See??? This particular fear is warranted!
  • Do not watch football and google at the same time if you are a serious football fan. One mistype into the google universe and you might feel the sudden urge to drive to your nearest church and become a nun!! No room for multitasking here…Focus!

As usual, I will end this post with a plan. Yes, I feel better knowing I have a tentative plan in place. So what I’m going to do is call my gyn Monday morning and ask if she can switch my Wellbutrin to the ER version. I will also talk to her about possibly confirming the Endometriosis and hopefully it’s severity before having a hysterectomy. I refuse to risk having the surgery and experience NO relief. Then I will make an appointment with my GI doc and discuss my options for finding out what is causing my tummy troubles, which lead to panic. It might even be the other way around for all I know but this seems like a good way to find out. I know there is something going on there whether or not it is related to all of my other problems, I need to find out exactly what it is. That will likely help me with any future medication needs. When I spoke to the pharmacist, I also asked if when I take the bc pill (as in which day of my cycle) plays a role in whether I suffer the side effects. He said it does not. If I’m going to have a reaction to the pill, it doesn’t mater if I take it the first Sunday after my period or not. So, depending on what my gyn says, I might take my first bc pill tomorrow. Fingers, toes, and anything available, crossed my body handles it well and I do not end up in the dang ER again. I must remember it could ALWAYS be worse. Now if you will excuse me, I have some football to catch up on….

Much Love To All!

Ok universe, you and I need to have a little chat!

Once again my over-thinking, HSP brain is in overdrive. Just when I think I have something figured out, the universe steps in with it’s handy little fork that I swear was made just for my road.

So let me begin with an update on my latest treatment plan, the birth control pill. The bc pills were prescribed to hopefully alleviate some of my horrendous pms symptoms. I started on the lowest dose but they didn’t help at all, in fact they made my cramps and such worse! At my follow up the gyn decided maybe I needed a higher dose of hormone. It sounded like a great plan to me. Well let me fast forward through the nasty parts and just say that I ended up in the emergency room with an IV of fluids. I was treated for severe dehydration, a UTI that so far has shown ZERO symptoms and DRUG TOXICITY! Yup. I had a toxic reaction to the birth control pills. It was pretty much the worst 7 days of my life.

Today was the first day I felt almost like myself since my reaction to the pills. I am not 100% yet but compared to just 2 days ago I feel great. And today I decided I no longer want to be treated for my symptoms. I can’t afford to go to an RE anymore because just walking through the damn door is considered IF treatment and is NOT covered by my insurance. My only option was to pray that my gyn could help. We have tried to relieve my symptoms with several different treatment options and, to say the very least, nothing has helped. I am done! I am done listening to doctor’s. It is time they started listening to me. I am still confident in our decision to remain child free so give me all the information you got on a hysterectomy and sign me up!!!  I just can’t do it anymore. I.Am.Tired. What a weight off my shoulders. That decision plus the fact that I am finally feeling better made for a pretty good day. I took my mom to run her errands including her doctor’s appointment. Overall I was in a good mood.

Then on my way home I checked the mail.  I open up this large envelope and find out that PC’s work is adjusting their insurance for this year’s open enrollment and as I was reading through the material explaining the new plans I noticed a section titled “2015 UPGRADES”. The third upgrade on the list reads as follows: Infertility and bariatric treatments are now covered by all medical plans; pre-authorizations and limitations apply.<<<<<<<<

Excuse me??? Ok, I know it is hard to tell sometimes what IS a sign and what isn’t but really??? I know I have blogged about the rage I feel inside over this subject. How come a man can claim emotional distress and get Viagra covered by insurance or a woman claiming the same thing can get breast implants but I can’t even finish getting a diagnosis? My birth control pills are covered. So insurance will pay for me to prevent a pregnancy and in some states even TERMINATE one but my labs are not covered?! This subject has caused me so much stress in the past few years, I can’t even keep track of how much sleep I have lost over it. You would think this turn of events (I’m still calling it a fork in the road) would leave me ecstatic but it just pisses me off! Come on universe! Why would you wait until I have completely given up on figuring out what’s wrong with me to make figuring out what’s wrong with me possible? This has got to be a joke. What are you trying to say? Am I supposed to get a definite diagnosis? Is that HIS plan? It does make me wonder what kind of “infertility treatments” they are talking about. I mean, is it limited to all the blood work that HAS to be filed under IF or are we talking IVF kinda stuff? Now I am asking myself if these were the insurance terms a year ago would we still have chosen to remain child free? Would this coverage have changed my mind in any way? For now I will focus on the positives. I am very glad to be feeling better. PC and I are blessed to even have insurance in the first place. I feel guilty for allowing myself to get so  wrapped up in all the negative stuff that I forget to be thankful. I hope everyone had a fabulous Halloween!

~~Side Note~~ Spell check made me capitalize Viagra!!!! Ha!

Much Love To All.

I didn’t choose the DINK life, the DINK life chose me!

Yes, I am aware of how incredibly cheesy that title is. But it is the truth. I figure now would be a good time to give a little background about myself and explain why my life is “dink-ish”. If you haven’t already noticed from previous blogs, I am not considered a shy person. I see no reason to hold a lot back, respectfully of course. Now that we got that out-of-the-way here is part of my story…

My hubby and I have been together for almost 18 years, March 2014. In the beginning I told him I never wanted children. He was ok with that, altho I think he secretly hoped I would change my mind. We really didn’t talk about it much thru our relationship tho. I always worked with children as a teacher/caregiver so we talked (ok, I talked) about kids daily, just not about having our own. I focused on school and work and so did he. Well about 8 years ago I started feeling what I thought to be that little clock thing women talk about. We decided to begin “trying”. My medical history had always been very unique but I saw my gyn regularly and had no reason to think our lives would take the path it has. As it turns out, there was reason to be concerned about my health. I was forced to find a new gyn when my current one relocated. This is when I found out gyn #1 was kinda clueless. Very disappointing news because I had really liked and trusted her. Anyhow, turns out I had probably never ovulated in my life, like EVER! Gyn #2 ordered several tests, ya know, the blood work, ultrasounds and so on. She referred me to an endocrinologist after a PCOS diagnosis. I was confused. Very confused. The endo started me on this medicinal treatment plan. She warned me that the side effects might be less than pleasant at first but this med would accomplish several things, including lower cholesterol, combat the insulin resistance and maybe weight loss. I am not sure that is did any of those things in the 8 months I took it but I can tell you what it DID do.

1) So So So nauseous 24/7

2) Random, explosive, urgent bouts of bubble guts, as my cousin calls it. Better know as diarrhea. And when I say random I mean…I’m was tempted to call the Container Store Headquarters and thank them for putting a restroom (with a lock) in their stores and ask they (potties) be moved to the front of the store! That is a sad and funny story, maybe another blog on just these side effects…

3) Hot flashes. Aren’t I too young for these???????? Live in my shower!

4) Random vomiting. Fortunately for everyone around me I had more of a  “warning” before this symptom arrived. 

Moving on, those are just some of the side effects that convinced me I should stop swallowing these pills from hell and think about things. Here is where things got even more complicated for my little brain. Do I really want kids? If so do I want them bad enough to take that med again? Adoption is not what my hubby really wants, so even tho it’s not off the table, it’s not part of our plan yet. I can not afford a surrogate. Now what? I had so many questions and no answers. And finally, why would I start feeling this clock if I can’t have kids? I should have just stuck to my plan, no kids! But wait, there’s more!!! This is when I find out that I may NOT have PCOS. It might be endometriosis. What? They say all the symptoms fit but a surgical procedure is the only way to confirm it. You have to be kidding me! So why did I go thru all that hell for so long? Why would I get treatment for something if there was another possibility? Very frustrating. Needless to say it all got a little overwhelming, and now my hubby and I are just “leaving it in GOD’s hands”. No meds, no temps, no calendar. Just taking life day by day. I would like to just get a hysterectomy. My only fear is that my choice to just not have kids, is an emotionally induced one right now. My hormones are so out of whack I’m not sure how I dress myself everyday! LOL. Then there is the guilt. Not giving my hubby a child, my family or myself. But what if that is my destiny. Maybe I am destined to help others with their kids instead of having my own. I have been a teacher, babysitter, nanny, aunt, big sis and good friend on the phone when they don’t know how to handle any given situation.  I did not grow up in a very religious home but what if that is HIS plan for me? I’m great at all of those things. I have been called “The Child Whisperer” several times! Not just by family but by my students parents and my co workers and supervisors. Maybe just maybe, this is a “Don’t fix it if it ain’t broke” kinda situation.

Either way this is how I came to know the DINK-ish life. And I call it “dink-sh” because of the darned yo-yo effect all of this has had on me and my hubby. I want kids, I don’t want kids, no medical reason why I can’t, too many reason to list why I can’t…Even tho these medical difficulties created overwhelming emotions and somehow still do, I think my hubby and I have embraced the dink life well. We are starting to see all the benefits also. And now I’m back to not wanting kiddos. My current goal is to get ahold of these horrible symptoms, hopefully find the culprit/s, and find some solutions.  In my up-coming blogs I will cover some of the symptoms I have experienced over the years, ya never know maybe there is a dr on this site, not only for the share factor but also to explore the emotional side effects that most women do not truly understand unless they are going thru it too.