Cold feet or valid concern???

I may be chickening out on my hysterectomy. Maybe it is just cold feet. I know that is quite possible. But I can’t help wondering if this hysterectomy is the best option for me. I had some of the same questions before my gallbladder removal and I only regret not doing that sooner! So…again…cold feet???

So this is where my brain has been lately…

My hormonal imbalance.

My symptoms have been significantly improved since gallbladder surgery. But they are still there. Not all of them of course  but some. For example, the panic and anxiety. Pre-surgery it was almost all day and it was certainly every day! Post gallbladder surgery it’s just occasional and very unpredictable. I also still experience dizziness, lethargy, lack of energy, feelings of dread…etc. These symptoms are occasional and unpredictable as well. I haven’t kept a journal of these symptoms. I know it would have been helpful if I did but have you tried to focus on anything while having a panic attack? It’s not exactly easy to do.  But I sat down the other day trying to remember my last few panic attacks and I feel like they all happen around my cycle. So are they hormone related? If that is the case, then I have a million questions.

  • How will a hysterectomy (leaving the ovaries) affect me regarding these symptoms?
  • Will my ovaries still prepare my body for a period every month even though I won’t have one?
  • Since a hysterectomy probably won’t fix my hormone imbalance, then will I still have to address that issue after surgery?

I will be asking my gyn these questions and more, soon. The whole purpose of the surgery is to hopefully feel some relief from the Endometriosis. But what if I don’t even have that? I mean, my gyn is convinced I do but I never had the lap to confirm it. She is so convinced that is what I have that she said it wasn’t necessary to do the lap because she could excise while she’s in there for the hysterectomy. But have you ever researched the symptoms of hormone imbalance? The symptoms fit perfectly. At least in my case they do. And I know I have an imbalance based on my lab results for the past few years. My previous gyn told me I had PCOS. My current gyn says I may have had that at one point but I don’t have it now. Talk about confusing!! All of the symptoms I have mentioned in this post so far are also symptoms of a plain ole hormone imbalance.  So do I go through with this life changing surgery or not?

Being nervous about this surgery, among other things, has kept my mind pretty busy. Busy enough to not even worry about the “thing” my dermatologist biopsied last Monday. I was proud of myself for actually going to that appt. I didn’t have a full panic attack or anything. It hurts like hec now though. She left a darn crater in my knee where this mole thingy used to be but I’m glad it’s gone. I tried my hardest to turn all empath feelings off at this appt but I couldn’t. She sounded calm but she looked worried. She actually looked very worried. She gave my arms, legs and back a good once over and said everything looked fine.. But when she saw this stupid thing on my knee she calmly said “Yeah we need to biopsy that right now!”. That’s all she said the entire appt. Last time I went to her she was pretty chatty. Very detailed, asked a lot of questions…etc. Not this time. The nurse who (attempted to) numb me up was very sweet. She heard me telling the doc that I wasn’t sure if my skin problems were hormone related or not due to my IF issues. That may be why she shared her own infertility struggles with me.  She almost looked relieved to hear my story. As if she finally had someone in her daily life who understood. I felt sadness for her troubles but somehow that connection kept me calm through the biopsy part. The lab should be calling any day now with my results. Fingers crossed…

Much Love To All!

I know, I know, It’s not Monday.

It’s amazing where music can take you! No matter how you are feeling, the right song, lyrics, melody or even just the right beat can emotionally teleport you to paradise!

I woke this morning not feeling well at all. I am cramping like a calf muscle in a marathon, I was experiencing a hot flash upon waking, my head hurt, PMS is here to stay…etc. I plopped down on the living room couch and did my morning facebook check. No worries, my facebook is no longer a threat to my mental health since I performed some “deep cleaning” on it a while back. The first thing I noticed was a new video had been posted on you tube from some one I follow.

My mood changed IMMEDIATELY!

This man’s name is James Corden. I believe he is a late show host but I have never watched one of the shows. I found him on you tube. He does something called “Carpool Karaoke”. It is priceless!

Sooo…I’m just gonna leave this here…

Much Love To All!