Technically this is sad news so I apologize for using an exclamation mark, insinuating mucho excitement. But for those of us who can only relate to people that are in the “same IF boat as us” by logging into this fabulous world of bloggers we’ve discovered floating around the interweb…this is kind of exciting!
PC and I were invited to one of his co-workers house last night for an informal get together. A handful of co-workers were going to be there and a few of their wives. One wife in particular was said to be very shy and hadn’t attended any functions in the past 3 years her husband has been employed there.
Well said wife was there when PC and I showed up and it took her and I approximately 32 seconds to click! I was excited about meeting her because it is rare for the wives to be on the same schedule as our graveyard shift hubby’s. We chatted like we had known each other for years. It took several hours for us to get on the IF subject. She was explaining this diet she has been on and how successful it has been for her so far. Then she mentioned that is was even calming her periods down, which she was very happy about. Apparently this diet has caused her periods to become significantly lighter. I responded by sharing with her (bluntly and with no shame might I add….) that I have Endo and am infertile, and she immediately revealed she has PCOS and has only a 25% chance of conceiving naturally. You know those conversations we have on here that we know for sure would offend at least half of our fertile friends (only because they wouldn’t be able to relate), yeah I had one of those with a real life human being! Face to face! We shared our versions of the “what to say and not to say”, we complained about our daily reminders. Which activity is hardest for us…grocery shopping or family/friend gatherings…
I suddenly felt NOT alone! At a gathering full of fertile men and women, which is usually the kind of place that poses the most emotional struggle for me. I was sad to hear her struggles and to know what she is going through but selfishly I was holding back tears of acceptance at the same time. I found myself feeling less ashamed to admit PC and I don’t have children. I wasn’t watching over my shoulder to prepare myself in case the host’s 2 year old woke up. I realized I didn’t have to choose my words as carefully in front of her. I spoke freely. I could literally be myself. No shields (ready and waiting for someone to do or say something that isn’t going to sit well with me). My real self, even if I had a sudden “daily reminder”!!! I never did have one last night but maybe it’s because I knew I could and I wouldn’t be judged for it so I paid less attention. I wasn’t on edge waiting all.night.long. I could breath. Just for one evening out. I could breath.
I am so sorry for her pain and suffering.
I am sorry to the host’s wife whom I feel we may have ignored because of our instant connection.
I’m not sorry that I felt safe and accepted and had a great time, when I wasn’t really expecting any of those things last night.
Maybe I should start a support group in my area. I kicked the idea around before my gallbladder spazzed out on me. I think I will look into it again. I think it would take a lot of time and effort on my part but if I could help even one person feel like I felt last night, like it IS possible to feel safe, comfortable and accepted somewhere other than your own living room couch….it would be more than worth it!
I hope you all have a great week!
PS… Here is my Monday Music and for those of you that know me well…yes I already sat down and learned it on my piano. I still have to practice but I have the basics down. Why didn’t anyone tell me most songs revolve around the “Heart and Soul” chords?? Ugh!! I love music.
Much Love To All!