Sarcasm…. Is it helpful or just hurtful?
If you have followed my blog you may already know I can be a tad sarcastic. Sarcasm and humor (even at inappropriate times) are a natural response for me. It runs through my veins. This post isn’t going to be a debate about whether or not sarcasm is helpful or hurtful. It is about why it is so helpful to me and always has been.
If I had to blame one of my parents for this sarcasm it would have to be my daddy. We do not always get along. When I was young we were mortal enemies. I was a very angry child most of the time (with very good reason and he knows it) and I relied on my “attitude” to get my point across. Sometimes it was the only time I was heard. I don’t think I need it for that anymore but the urge to make jokes or be sarcastic doesn’t just go away. The one thing my daddy and I always had in common was sarcasm. That’s how we communicate with each other, even to this day. I actually cherish those times, He is a different man today than he was when I was a child. We are closer today than we ever have been, especially since his stroke. For some reason, he is more concerned about my health and infertility now. I can’t explain why but I don’t mind. I don’t go into details with him of course but he wants to know about all of my appointments and he texts me randomly just to say “I love you”. We don’t exactly share feelings with each other. He hugs, kisses and says the words but anything more than that is too uncomfortable for him, for us. We just don’t share feelings…
My point is, I see my humor/sarcasm as a positive thing. It’s what I’m known for. Not just with my daddy but with my other family members, friends and even my young students. My kids used to love cracking jokes and being silly. I think it played a huge role in my teaching style and success. Laughter/sarcasm is an outlet for me almost as much as music is. And it comes so naturally, like sneezing! It felt so good to know I could make people laugh. Especially during a difficult time. I could crack a smile on the saddest face in the room. But I lost that part of myself a few years ago. It happened just minutes after the doc told me I was infertile. Nothing funny or silly about that! I didn’t realize it was gone at first. Several months ago I did realize I was neglecting my love of music. I even started piano lessons that I eventually had to quit due to my health. But I remember feeling so grateful that I wanted to do it! That was the first step towards my old self and I was happy to see it.
Well…..My sarcasm came back today and it felt awesome! I was at the doctor’s office (ENT). The nurse that called me back looked as though she was having a bad day. Her hair kept falling out of her ponytail. I overheard her telling a co-worker earlier that she hadn’t had lunch yet and the look on her face was just miserable. She didn’t want to be there. So when she asked me “How are you doing today?” I replied with “Oh, better than some worse than others.”. The chuckle that came out of her mouth was hilarious! We chatted for a few minutes about my comment until the doctor came in.
I’m writing about this because I plan on posting more funny, silly or sarcastic things. If I can’t laugh about it what can I do….cry??? Yeah, been there done that and it hasn’t helped me heal. I think it is an important part of the healing process but it’s time for me to move to the next phase. To get back to the real me.
That being said, please let me know (kindly) if you ever feel like I have crossed a line at any time. I care for and respect all of my IF sisters (more than my real life ones) and no one ever taught or showed me how to be a good “sister”. Based on my crazy childhood, I wouldn’t recognize normal or appropriate if it jumped out and bit me. I am not here to offend anyone or minimize one single part of this journey, that is not my intent. This is just my next step in grief. My next step in getting my life back.
Much Love To All!