Damn it!

I wish I had a better title for this post but I just don’t.

I had a cardio appt today and I am here to write an update. I have decided that I should stick to making lists for most of my posts. I haven’t figured out how to organize my own thoughts well enough to be able to write about an event and make any sort of sense of it. I just tend to babble and whine and that is not the purpose of my blogging.

So today I am making a list of reasons why my cardio appt was frustrating.

  • The office staff at my doctor’s office are not on the same page with anyone, not even each other!
  • They are also always on their cell phones, even though every time I call I either get 1)the automated “call back during business hours” message, no matter what time I call or 2) I am on hold for an hour then the info they give me is so inaccurate I swear they made it up themselves out of thin air…
  • My doctor, although I really like her, still hasn’t interpreted my last blood tests which were taken on the 16th of this month.
  • I need those results ASAP because either way, there is a plan. If the labs reveal my thyroid is fine, then I need to schedule my gallbladder surgery so I can finally be relieved from the gallbladder symptoms. If the labs reveal a problem with my thyroid, I need to address that quickly so I can then have the surgery to be relieved of these gallbladder symptoms.
  • So that means I suffer until someone gets around to it….
  • The cardiologist mentioned, in passing, that my labs looked fine so he wants to send me home with a heart monitor for the next 2 weeks. What? So should I consider HIS interpretation of my labs or wait for my pcp? I asked him to repeat and explain what he said about my labs and he said “Yes, they look fine but I’m not a thyroid specialist”. Um, k, thanks…
  • The cardio echo tech called me back and had me take everything off from the waist up, put on the robe and then lay on the table. He was making small talk. After his questions he had a pretty good idea of why I was there. He knew I was having fertility issues along with several symptoms possibly not related. He was sympathetic to the infertile part of the convo.
  • His response to that info was a story about his 2 children and how he has custody because his ex is…let me think, how did he put it? Oh yeah, “a total piece of shit”! He then went on to tell more than one “she is a horrible parent” story, including one about how she brought their son back after her weekend with a broken arm that she never had examined!
  • Needless to say, in the middle of this exam (and his damn stories) I started having one of my episodes/hot flashes/panic attacks. What ever the hell it’s called it starting happening right in the middle of this test on my heart. My skin started to feel warm, my face (especially my lips) felt like it was on fire, heart starting racing….He noticed. He said my heart rate jumped up significantly.
  • Now I’m worried the results might not be diagnostically accurate. Will the cardio doc take “my state of mind” into consideration? Was my episode due to his stories or just coincidence?  I have been waiting a very long time for some freaking answers! I do not want to waste time focusing on the wrong area of health because of misleading test results!!! Ain’t nobody got time for that…
  • He was on his phone! It wasn’t only for personal use though. He was using it with the ultrasound equipment he was using on me. I think he had some sort of ultrasound app on his phone and he was using SIRI to speak his findings into it instead of writing them down. But it was his personal cell phone! I am not comfy with him being able to take my personal info and test results home with him! Is that normal? I have never seen this before.
  • I think he made fun of me. Or was he flirting? I doubt it but he giggled/smirked and had a weird expression on his face when he was explaining he would have to use a decent amount of pressure with the ultrasound wand due to my “large amount of breast tissue”. He was attempting to get images from the left side of my left breast while I was laying on my left side and wasn’t sure how to approach the situation. I offered to “move my breast tissue for him” but he said that wasn’t necessary. I’m sorry my girls are large and sometimes in the way but this can NOT be the first time you have run across this kind of situation in your profession! At least his words were professional. Now if he could just drop the giggles and change the facial expressions from the “hehehe, I’m a teenage boy and have never seen boobies like this up close” to maybe something more like “this is kind of embarrassing for me and probably for her as well but I would like to remain professional”, he wouldn’t come across like such a douche!

Maybe the main reason for my frustration is simply that I am no closer to answers than I was before the appt. I didn’t expect much from today’s appt but I was very discouraged when he said my thyroid looked fine. I do not want to start over at square one. I felt like we were so close to the problem with the thyroid idea and now, not so much. He did tell me to wait on the gallbladder surgery until I am finished with the heart monitor. That just means I have the privilege of suffering from my tummy symptoms for at least 2 more weeks. Ugh, I need a vacation and a stiff drink. Nevermind, I can’t have either right now. 😦

Oh heavens..My PCP office just called in the middle of this post full of frustrations to “schedule a follow up with my doc to go over my lab results”. Haha, I can feel my hair turning prematurely grey as I type…

Much Love To All!

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4 responses to “Damn it!

  1. Ugh, I get physically I’ll when someone talks about bad parenting or an unwanted pregnancy. Having that happen during an ultrasound?!? I’m so sorry hon. I hope they get to the bottom of things soon.

    • Sometimes I get physically ill also. That would have been embarrassing. At least it was an ultrasound of my heart and not my belly. I cried my eyes out the first time I had one done on my belly and the conversation was not like today. Thank you for your comment and kind words! I appreciate the support.

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