Learning to set boundaries…

tree Usually my whole apartment is decorated Thanksgiving night. I have been sick lately, might need to make an appointment to rule out pneumonia, so I only got the tree done and I didn’t get to it until tonight. I have some adjustments to make, including adding some color to his arms that can hardly be seen in this pic, but I’m leaving it as is for now.

Quick update on my health: These new chewable bc pills don’t seem to be alleviating my pms symptoms. In fact, my pms lasted longer than usual this time as well as the period. I’m willing to be patient though. Maybe my body needs time to get used to them. I think I would be much more disappointed right now if I weren’t so damn grateful about having ZERO side effects. The taste isn’t fabulous but compared to the toxic reaction I had to the last ones, I’m not going to complain about that at all. After some more extensive research, I am going to ask for a few specific blood tests. I still have a feeling some of my random problems are connected or caused by one another. Maybe not all of them but some of them at least. There is a big picture here and I won’t be satisfied until I can see it. I have a few theories worth looking into.

My stress level has been pretty high lately. Taking care of my mother is taking a toll on me more than ever. I have been her primary care giver since I was a child. I love spending time with her but I worry about her when I’m not there. She lives about 40 minutes away from me so I can’t be there quickly if she needs me. One of my challenges is my sister. She lives just as far away from ma but she hardly ever visits. As I have explained before, my sister is a compulsive liar. These days she has ma convinced she has skin cancer. She has been “diagnosed” with liver failure, fibromyalgia, severely high cholesterol, lupus and more. No proof of course. Ma still believes her every time she come up with something new. So do I let ma worry for nothing or do I say something? I have always said something but it’s exhausting. I took my therapist’s advice and tried to set more boundaries. The other day I told Ma that I need my sister to pitch in and at least start helping her with grocery shopping. My sister can’t take Ma to the doctor because 1) Ma’s doctor banned my sister from the office because last time she went she caused a scene and 2) I wouldn’t trust the info she shared with me about Ma’s appts. Anyhow, Ma said the conversation didn’t go well. My sister spent the whole time talking about some cancer research place she has to go to and when Ma brought up the topic of helping, suddenly my sister had to get off the phone. I kindly reminded Ma about when my sister was about 18 yrs old and mysteriously disappeared. We found letters she had written to us explaining how she was going to LIARS REHAB! She claimed there was a place in the city that helped people with her problem and she was going to be staying there. I asked Ma today if this cancer research center was near that liar’s rehab….Hehe! The whole situation is frustrating! And the heartbreaking part is she is keeping my niece from me. I have no clue what she has told my niece about me and PC but she (my niece) hasn’t called or texted me in months nor has she returned any of mine. I miss my sweetheart!! These are the kinds of situations that make my HSP almost impossible to live with! Ok, that’s enough of that.

PC has been extremely sweet lately. We didn’t get to spend Thanksgiving with his family like we usually do because of his work hours and I didn’t go because I didn’t want to get anyone sick (especially our very new great-niece) but we had a quiet evening together. Sometimes that can be a nice change. I’m afraid Christmas might be the same. PC doesn’t get holidays off unless they fall on his normal days off. I don’t like going without him but I may have to. I feel guilty for missing so many get togethers. I don’t think they really understand just how much I have take life a day at a time. Today I might feel fine and tomorrow I may be stuck in bed with excruciating cramps, or panic, or vomiting… I can’t wait to feel better! Lol!

House hunting is still fun so obviously we haven’t chosen one yet. We got a little side tracked because we were offered a pretty good investment opportunity. I think we are going to pass on it though because it will throw our house buying plans off some. I guess we’ll see.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

Much Love To All!

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