Steady My Heart

My cousin posted this video this morning. It struck me. I listened to it at least 3 times in a row. I felt like they were singing to me. I thought it was beautiful. Then I realized why I needed to hear that.

About an hour later, I learned my great niece was born this morning. I hadn’t heard the news yet because I unfriended my nephew and his gf months ago from facebook. His gf was a horrible source of daily reminders. Matter of fact she never just posted once a day, so it was more than just daily reminders from her. For those of you who are not familiar with that story here is the very short version: My nephew (now 21yrs old) and his girlfriend (not even 21 yrs old) already have a son. They announced their pregnancy in the middle of my IF journey and they fit the “Why do THEY deserve a child” category perfectly. Then they announced their second pregnancy before their son was a year old, at our family Easter party, which I later found out I was the only one who didn’t know about the pregnancy before the party. That was awkward to say the least.

Anyhow, the baby is precious. I feel different about this one. Maybe it was the absence of all those reminders I no longer get thanks to unfriending. I’m not sure. Hopefully it means I am coping better these days. That would be great news.

Then I think, maybe God is helping to steady my heart. But I don’t even want to think that way because there are so many questions that would follow that thought, for me anyways. Like, why would he take the time to steady my heart? Why wouldn’t he help me with my health instead and not have to steady my heart? Why doesn’t he give the couples that don’t even want children an IF journey? Why give anyone those struggles??? Well I am still working through those questions in my heart but for now I will choose to be grateful. Grateful for the peaceful feeling after this birth. Grateful for my blessing that don’t even involve IF. If I stop complaining about my health long enough, I have PLENTY of blessings to be thankful for. I really am blessed in so many ways.

So on a different note, I plan on organizing my blog. Usually I just start writing when my heart has something to say or I read something that I feel I need to share. I haven’t been able to notice if any of you blog on a schedule but I am considering it. If you use some sort of schedule, how has it helped you? I plan on making an effort to post as many positive blogs as I do negative. This is my only place to vent but if I don’t already have a positive post in mind to balance out my negative vent, I will refrain from blogging at all. You bring about what you think about! Maybe that plan will help to KEEP my heart steady!

Much Love To All!

4 responses to “Steady My Heart

  1. Hi — I do post on a schedule. It changed my blogging experience. I stopped posting when I felt like it and staring posting out of a commitment which forced me to start paying attention to everything. And, as a reader I enjoy knowing when my favorite writers are going to release their work becuase they’ve made a commitment to a schedule. I hope that helps in some way.

  2. oh this is one of my favorite songs. Kari Jobe originally sang this song and if you ever get a change to look her up on youtube and listen to her songs, you will fall in love! Her voice is amazing and the words to all of her songs touch every nerve in my body (in a good way).

    When I read your question, “Why would He take the time to steady your heart?” my first thought was that it is because He cares so much about our spirits and souls. He cares more about our hearts toward Him and to others above anything else and sometimes when our hearts get steady, everything else will just supernaturally fall into place. Does that make sense?

    And to answer your question on having a regular schedule…I tried it. I didn’t like it. haha! I’m the type of person that once I decide on something, I have to do it and there were some days when I didn’t have time to write or I would make time to write but neglect other priorities in order to do it and “keep to my schedule.” Now I am just going to try and post at least once a week…maybe two if the Lord puts something on my heart or an event occurs. Love ya sugars! xo

    • I have heard of a few of her songs. She is very talented! I enjoy looking up covers and local talent. Music is a big part of my life and my relationship with GOD. I know why HE would steady my heart but why wouldn’t he prevent the hurt in the first place? I’m not asking why I’m infertile. I have to believe there is a good reason for that and I have settled my heart on that. I trust HIM. It’s the physical symptoms and such. I don’t know why it has to be so hard to figure out what is causing the IF so I can’t treat my symptoms. Wait, I just re-read your 2nd paragraph, maybe my heart isn’t as settled as I think it is. Maybe HE is waiting for me to genuinely trust HIS plan and even though I feel like I do, I’m not there yet. OH, you wise woman you! 🙂

      I think I will schedule one post a week or so, probably a music post. I will never run out of material for that and then I can add a post if I have an update health wise. I will put a little more thought into it. As always, thanks for your input! Muah! xoxo

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