That is the trick! When is it time to leave your own internal pity party? I wish there was some sort of universal sign to help us with that part. Well maybe there isn’t a universal sign but an individual one. If that is the case I think I got my sign today!!
I am a
huge gigantic football fan! Always have been. I love everything about the sport. Today I ran to the local HEB for groceries, nothing special. While I was in the meat department this man bumped into me. I thought nothing of it really. He looked at me and said “Oh, I’m sorry, excuse me.” and he moved over for me. As he said those words he was kind of looking at me weird. Again, I thought nothing of it …….until the HEB employees came running out from behind the counter asking for his autograph!!! Yeah, his autograph! And then people started asking for his picture. I was a tad confused at this point. Then I realized I just bumped into a professional football player and (ME of all people) didn’t recognize him. Do you see the irony in this? If you knew me well, you would certainly see the damn irony in this! I had just bumped into Raghib Ramadian “Rocket” Ismail and didn’t even know it. I should have known it! I should have recognized him! That was my sign. Look what I am missing while I am feeling sorry for myself still.
Don’t get me wrong, this is a grieving process (infertility). There is no time limit on learning to live a new life, dream new dreams and mourn the loss of something you thought you couldn’t live without. But this incident made me wonder… how long I am going to allow myself to walk around with my head hanging down. What else am I missing while I am busy dealing with my own problems. And I am not only dealing with my own health problems. I am also my mother’s primary caregiver. I don’t mind at all but it sure takes a lot out of me. Not only does she live about 45 minutes away from me but she is dealing with health issues most women don’t deal with until their 60’s or 70’s. She failed the “memory test” her PCP gave her yesterday. She was shocked when the nurse left the room because she knew she didn’t do well. I was not shocked at all and felt like I should have asked for that test a long time ago. Anyhow, point is, I do have a lot on my plate. I know I am not the only one who feels like their cup is “runneth over”. No matter how much I have on my plate I can’t continue ignoring all my blessings! It’s time to leave my pity party. Not so I can avoid missing another celeb encounter but so I don’t miss out on all the great things I should be so grateful for right now! So…
Where do I start? Those of us in this IF boat can’t just RUN out of our pity party. So maybe I walk slowly out of the party at first . I’m not much of a runner anyways so that’s ok. The best way to do that is with my own thoughts! Maybe that is where I start. The quality of my thoughts… I sure do need to work on that part. There is zero quality to my thoughts these days and when you think about that fact..it’s pretty darn sad. There should be some quality in there somewhere. I know I have said in an earlier post somewhere “You bring about what you think about”. An old friend of mine used to say that to me. It stuck. In my opinion it doesn’t mean if you think about winning the lottery you will win the lottery. To me, that phrase and the picture to the right ,mean if all my thoughts are sad and negative, my life will also be sad and negative. And vise versa I guess. It’s time to start appreciating the good things. So on that note I would like to say THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART to all of you! Thank you for all the kind words, comments, likes, encouragement and hope you have given me. I have never met any of you in real life but I feel like you are all part of my family. Hec, you know details about me that most of my real life friends/family don’t! Especially about my health. I can only hope that I have been (or will be) as helpful to you as you’ve been to me! Take a moment today to be grateful. Even if it is about something you think is insignificant. Be thankful for it. And while you are thinking about being thankful, force your face to form a smile and hold that smile for at least 5 seconds. That can do wonders for a person’s mood! Oh look, I think I can see the front door now…Gotta make it to the front door if I want to leave this party….
Much Love To All!