So here is another perspective post! I will get right down to the point here so you can decide if you want to read the rest of my mumbo jumbo this morning. Knowing and understanding HSP is helping me deal with my infertility!! Am I “over it” as was suggested by a ridiculous family member? Nah. But I am marking yesterday/last night down in the books as a small victory! And here’s why…
I spent time with family yesterday. My family is, well let’s use the word “unique” for the moment. Yes, my family is unique. As a matter of fact, I have wanted to write a book about my family for many years but I wouldn’t know where to start. (if any of you could help with this please let me know) Readers would be certain it was a fictional novel I’m sure of it! Anyhow, There were many moments yesterday I just wanted to break out in tears and start cursing at everyone in the room. Let’s just say there was an overwhelming amount of “daily reminders” those of us in the IF world dread so much. Well this post is not about listing all of the wrongs in my family. I will not spend my time complaining about them. I am just trying to paint a picture of my state of mind yesterday. The point is, I noticed a difference between how I reacted yesterday as opposed to any time in the recent past. For the very first time, I recognized the negative energy creeping into my body while sitting in my aunt’s house and I didn’t allow it to take over! I’m not 100% sure how it worked to be honest. The only changes I consciously made was, I focused on my breathing when I started feeling out of balance, redirected my self talk and I was wearing my black tourmaline around my neck.
The results were amazing. Now, let me be clear here. I did NOT notice these results right at that moment. Or at all yesterday. I felt like I was struggling all day to keep my composure. I am speaking retrospectively. (is that a word???) I feel the difference this morning! I recognize how I feel this morning. I did not cry myself to sleep last night. I didn’t pour me a drink. I didn’t blare spotify all night until I felt some sort of emotional release. I had dinner with PC, made tea, took a shower then went to bed. I downloaded a white noise app (recommended for everyone!!!!) and fell asleep, to the relaxing sound of rain and thunder, soon after midnight. I haven’t fallen asleep before 5 am in so long. I woke around 6 am in a great mood. I felt rested. Relaxed.
I finally paid attention to my mind, body and soul last night.
My question is..Can self talk really be this important? I know I haven’t elaborated on self talk yet but I feel like that was an important part of my efforts yesterday. It is also the part of being HSP that I have been skeptical about. I mean, all I have to do is change my negative self talk into positive self talk? I may dedicate another blog to this subject but any thought would be appreciated. Have a great day everyone.
Much Love To All.