Will she be helpful?



Today is my appt with the new gyn. I am excited because I hear great things about her. I am also anxious because deep down inside I am hoping she has some sort of quick fix but I am well aware there is no quick fix. In spite of these mixed emotions, I have been in a pretty positive mood lately. Maybe the dark clouds are rollin’ outa town soon, I don’t know.

PC and I attended our nephew’s 12th birthday last weekend. I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before but then again I never do. Either way, I think I handled it well. I was more “like myself” at this family gathering than I have been in quite a while. I still can’t explain why these get-togethers are so hard for me. I don’t believe it’s  just the fear of another announcement. I think with all the sadness and negative feelings IF has brought into my life, I simply have no more room. No more room in my head or heart for negativity, anxiety, sadness, or whatever other surprise emotion that might be in store. Heck, I don’t need a family function to feel those things. Just this morning I heard a report on the news that some high school (don’t remember which state) added a section in their yearbook this year to acknowledge the teen moms!! From what I could tell these teen mothers are being acknowledged because they were able to stay in school and graduate. I froze. My whole body froze when I heard this.Are you kidding me? They made the yearbook because they had a baby? Some people have suggested that by doing this, the school is glamorizing teen sex and parenthood. That is not the reason I think this is ridiculous though. Obviously teens were already having sex before this yearbook section was added. The number of “kids having kids” has been consistently rising for years! Others say these young mother’s deserve to be praised for continuing their education, for overcoming this “obstacle”!!! Maybe that’s why this story rubbed me the wrong way. Obstacle??? Okay, I agree they deserve some praise for staying on the straight and narrow and doing what is best for their child. That’s great. But should it be their whole school praising them? Is that the appropriate place to acknowledge this achievement? And I pray they did not use the word “obstacle” in the yearbook. Is it still considered an obstacle if it was a choice?Oh, I better stop before I write an entire book on this subject. So you see….. I get fired up just by watching the damn news. Stories about people I don’t even know. It feels worse when the things that get me “all fired up” are so close to home and begin at a family gathering. Bottom line…I consider this birthday party a victory. A small victory.

Much Love to all!

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