Occasionally I am just not in the mood to talk about my medical problems especially my infertility. So what is the other optional response I can deliver when I am asked why I do not have kids? Well If you have read my last few blogs you know my answer. If not, thanks for joining, better late than never… 😉 Anyhow, the first option is to tell them I have infertility problems. But as I said sometimes I just don’t want to go there. So option #2… “I don’t want kids”. Well here is a list of reactions I get when I dare utter those words…Another list of what not to say.
1) “You don’t think that is selfish?”
Hmmm, selfish? You can’t be serious! Can you elaborate on that please? All I can say is I would rather be selfish now, without a child, meaning I’m not hurting anyone, than to be selfish with kids! Probably wouldn’t go so well FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!
2) “Don’t your parents want grandchildren?”
I’m sure they do want grandchildren. With all due respect to my parents, I don’t care! Unless they are willing to raise, pay for, clothe, teach, house (and so on) them, it’s not really their choice now is it? No one should live their lives based on what others want for them. They can be satisfied with their grand-fur-babies…
3) “You don’t know what you’re missing. You’ll never know the happiness of being a parent”
I will also never know what it’s like to be a rock star, finally get the chance to meet Michael Jackson or have a penis but I think I will survive!! How about you call me when that cute little bundle of joy turns 15, hates you for a different reason every day, spends all their time with friends, or gives you a mini heart attack regularly when they learn to drive! By the way if I don’t answer that call just leave me a message. It’s probably because my hubby and I are on an exclusive remote beach, that we visit several times a year! And I hate to break it to the world but “happiness” is NOT reserved for parents only! (unlike that one open parking spot at the grocery store…grrrr)
4) “What if you will regret it?”
The way I see it is…I would rather not have kids and regret that than have them and regret THAT! And here’s an apple for you to chew on, Google the words ” I regret having…” You won’t even have to finish that sentence. I have personally witnessed soooo many women, young and old, who regret having children. I have also been employed at a local children’s shelter (where the police take children who have been taken away from their parents but have nowhere to go). This means I have wiped away the tears, modeled appropriate behaviour, cooked, cleaned, and too much more to list, for those children that were a regret! Most rewarding job I EVER had.
Today’s lesson? If someone tells you they don’t want children I think it is only fair that you respect that decision without judgement just as they are respecting your’s if have them. What I have failed to mention here is that there is a third “optional response” to the I don’t have kids convo – ” I DON’T NEED ANOTHER PERSON IN THE ROOM TO SEE ME CRY DURING THE LION KING!!” Hehe..true story.