When in company involving strangers, the question “Do you have kids?” is very often a conversation starter. No big deal, It’s a perfectly common and sensible question. If the answer is yes, and it usually is in my experience, then you have so much you can talk about to pass the time. This is how it often goes for me….
Stranger – Nice to meet you. Blah, blah,blah… So do you and your husband have children?
Me: No, no kiddos. How about you and your hubby? Kids?
Stranger – Really? Why not? Oh, I’m so sorry. That is probably too personal of a question. Well, when the time is right, it will happen for you. Just be patient. I will pray for you and your husband.
Ok. Now let me just point out in case you missed it, they didn’t answer my question to them about kids. They were already feeling guilty because they brought up such a touchy subject. They had no way of knowing I have infertility problems. Due to my crazy unheard of answer (no kids) all they can do now is respond in a positive encouraging way in an attempt to pave over the awkward moment they unintentionally created with their simple small talk. The problem with that is I never said I have infertility problems.
So here is my question to others. Do I let them assume I have infertility problems? Is that an easier way out for me? For them? Why is infertility assumed? Is that the ONLY explanation as to why my husband and I don’t have children? Is it possible that we have decided not to have children? And if that was our decision, is there something wrong with that? Is there a law that states married couples must have children? I know, that was more than one question. This is a frustrating part of social “mingling” for me and my hubby. I have responded in several ways to the “why don’t you have kids” question. All truthful but at the same time my responses have been some what of an “experiment” if you will. And sometimes it just depends on my current mood. My next few blogs will take a look at some of my responses to that question and the crazy questions/reactions I so kindly get in return…(insert sarcasm here)